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How to "Refuse" like a Pro

3/16/2017

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Until not too long ago, the "Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Rot" mantra had a bitter-sweet feeling for me. It was not a weakness for freebies not a desire to own T-shirts. It wasn't  that I loved free food samples (which of course, I do, but from a distance)!  It was my inability to say "no" when somebody handed me something and smiled at the same time.

Besides the language barrier (I am from Barcelona), which made me babble unconvincing apologies for not wanting the item, I had to add my compulsive and unhealthy need to please and be nice to strangers.
So, to avoid conflict, I used some pretty lousy non-verbal strategies:
  • Flee! Yes, I flew away, as fast as I could. I'd change aisle or street... whatever it took!
  • Acted as if I had an urgent need to use my cell phone just as I approached the freebie guy.
  • Grabbed  my kids´hands, even if one of them is already 5'8"
  • Started speaking in Spanish really fast to my husband, as if what I was saying was a life-or-death piece of information that he had to know right then in order to survive.
If I couldn't use any of these tactics, I would show the guy my nicest smile and shake my head, looking down immediately afterwards. I know it sounds pathetic but  hey, I had my limitations!

But the other day, I was watching Béa Johnson's TED talk and she explained that, in the same situation, her kids just say, "No thanks, I'm good." Yes! It was simple, assertive and polite. Perfect. I go in front of the mirror and practiced it for a while, so that it will come out automatically when I need it. Now it is mine to keep and use... to Refuse!

So, what is your magic "Refuse" sentence? 
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